Religious cults create family cults
Why it’s an intentional part of the religious cult playbook
The RHR Digest | Publication Date: January 9th, 2026
A critical part of my recovery journey was being able to recognize that the religion I was indoctrinated into was only one part of the equation when it came to the harmful programming I experienced.
The other part that I eventually gained more clarity around was the way my family unit took on the characteristics of the religious cult, effectively becoming a “mini-cult” that was led by my primary caregivers.
For some, it may seem a little drastic to think of their individual family unit as a cult, while for others this will immediately resonate.
Either way, if you keep reading, I think you’ll be able to see how family cults are a natural extension of religious cults.
In this newsletter, we’ll be taking a closer look at the way religious cults actually create family cults.
Specifically, we’ll explore:
What is a family cult?
Before we go any further, I want to clarify what I mean by a family cult.
Family cults are generally considered to be “mini-cults,” a term I first learned through reading the work of cult expert Steven Hassan.
He uses the term mini-cult to describe groups consisting of 2–12 members, meaning they can even capture the dynamics found in intimate partner relationships where one partner engages in coercive control over the other partner.
According to Hassan, even though they’re small, these groups still meet the criteria for a cult if they engage in the four forms of undue influence he outlines in his BITE model: behavior control, information control, thought control, and emotion control (Hassan, 2018).
As mentioned in the intro, many families who belong to religious cults (a.k.a. high-control religions) end up meeting the criteria of a mini-cult.
The leader in religious mini-cults is often referred to as the “head of the household” and assumes the role of absolute or “final” authority inside the home.
The experience of being inside a family cult typically involves:
While these factors match up with what people will often experience inside larger cult groups, it can be harder to recognize these as “cult” dynamics within family structures.
This is because, inside families, control is often conflated with love, and the underlying message is that the family is cultivating “family values” and raising children with strong morals.
Common dynamics inside family cults
For those of us who grew up inside religious family cults, these dynamics are typically framed as the expected approach to living as a “godly family.”
Here are a few of the most common dynamics that play out in religious family cults:
If you’re recognizing your family in the above dynamics, it’s likely your family was functioning as a mini-cult within your broader religious cult.
Here’s how it tends to play out functionally:
Healthy families vs. family cults
Healthy families support the development of individuality and autonomy. While there are rules and guidelines within the family unit, these families engage with rules as a way of supporting the health and well-being of each member individually.
In family cults, on the other hand, rules become about control, often at the expense of the individual well-being of each member.
Additionally, family cults maintain a rigid hierarchy of authority, which is supported by high-control religions: god at the top, then pastor/elders, then husbands/fathers, then wives, then children.
You might have seen this visualized as an “umbrella of authority” or similar graphic.
The rigid and “god-ordained” hierarchy is what makes enforcement possible and even imbued with a sense of holiness (i.e., “I’m a godly parent because I don’t allow _____.”).
When that hierarchy is superimposed onto the family unit, the message is:
While this may have once felt like the ‘correct’ or even ‘godly’ order of things while you were indoctrinated, authority that is absolute and unquestionable often becomes fertile ground for abuse and coercive control (Aguado, 2018).
The role of isolation
The goal of any cult is to create an insular environment in order to reduce “negative influences” from the outside world.
One of the primary goals of most religious cults is to require that individual family units also become insular, claiming this is how they will keep their family “safe” from evil worldly influences.
Generally, this is enforced by limiting contact with outsiders and carefully curating the flow of information that comes into the home by rigidly policing media.
Here are a few examples of how this can play out:
This type of isolation is extremely purposeful. When your world is closed off, the family’s version of reality becomes the only reality you know.
There is no outside mirror to reflect back, “This is not normal” or “This is not okay.”
Religious cults know that in order to maintain the isolation within their religious system, they must get individual family units to buy in to cultivating insular family bubbles as well.
Finding your way out
If your family members are still “believers,” deconstructing your religious beliefs or leaving the religious cult may mean the loss of these relationships.
It’s often incredibly difficult for someone to leave a religious cult while their family stays because they’re not only trying to leave the religious cult—they’re also finding their way out of the family cult.
And the emotional and psychological (and sometimes even physical or financial) cost of this can be profound.
Leaving a family cult doesn’t always mean losing the relationship.
In some cases, the relationship can be renegotiated and healthy boundaries can be set.
However, for family units that were deeply embedded in the hierarchical, rules-based framework of the religious cult, family members who are still indoctrinated may see renegotiating these roles as a betrayal to god or that it risks allowing the devil to “gain a foothold.”
So most times, when someone separates from a religious cult, the best-case scenario with involving indoctrinated family members becomes ongoing but distant relationships or, worst-case scenarios, total cut-off.
The real tragedy here is that this is by design on the part of religious cults—they want the cost of leaving to be incredibly high.
The primary reason religious cults are so intent on cultivating family cults is because the costs to leaving both the religious cult and the family cult are simply too high for many people.
Encouragement for the cycle breaker
Sometimes all it takes is for one family member to start questioning or to step outside the rigid religious framework to create a crack in the foundation of the family cult structure.
And it’s possible for entire families to find their way out—I’ve seen it happen quite often.
However, sometimes the transition for multiple family members to leave takes many years, and some may never fully separate from the religious cult.
If you’re the one who has left (or is in the messy middle of leaving) while the rest of your family remains entrenched, it can be easy to minimize the positive steps you’ve taken to reclaim your own life.
But from a cult and family-systems perspective, it’s important to recognize how significant it is that you left, even if you are the only one.
When you start to accurately name what happened in your family; set boundaries that protect your well-being; build relationships and community outside the family cult; and reclaim your own thinking, emotions, and choices, you’re doing so much more than “just” leaving a religion.
You are interrupting a whole system of distrust, control, and dependence that has likely been handed down for generations.
That interruption is still critically important, even if:
The fact that you no longer comply with the old rules means the system can no longer function in exactly the same way. You are, by definition, a cycle breaker.
And that’s pretty amazing.
Going Deeper
Here are a couple questions to journal about or to unpack during your next therapy session: