Was GOD the cult leader?
When the religious leader doesn’t fit the stereotype.
The RHR Digest | Publication Date: February 13th, 2026
Before I get into the meat of today’s newsletter, I want to start off with a couple of clarifying points about the way I’m thinking about certain concepts.
First—everyone has a different perspective of who or what “god” is. For those of us who have deconverted from a high-control religion, you might still be figuring out what the concept of “god” means to you or whether you even believe in god at all.
Second—the version of god I’m referencing in this newsletter is the one that was described to us within a high-control religious group by religious leaders, parents, Christian media and/or church doctrines. Generally speaking, this is a version of god who expected absolute obedience and meted out consequences for “sin.”
I’ve been personally interested in fleshing out the topic of “god acting in the role of cult leader” because most of my experiences with religious leaders do not match up with the generally accepted definition of a cult leader.
The way “cult leader” is often defined is as someone charismatic and often manipulative who expects total devotion and keeps people in line through pressure, control, and isolation.
This is where a lot of my confusion about my experiences with religion comes from.
You see, I know the churches I attended meet the criteria for a religious cult, but the religious leaders of those churches rarely met the criteria for the more obvious definition of a “cult” leader.
Which got me thinking—”what if god was placed in the role of the cult leader in the churches I attended?”
And that’s what we’ll be unpacking in today’s RHR Digest.
Cult leaders come in different packages
A lot of people (myself included, historically) picture a cult leader as the obvious stereotype: charismatic and cunningly manipulative.
But in many religious cults, the “leader” role can look much more ordinary.
Cult researchers emphasize that what defines a cultic system is less about how charming a leader is and more about how the group handles authority, questioning, and dissent.
Dr. Janja Lalich describes cults as “self-sealing social systems” where information, relationships, and even your own doubts get interpreted in ways that protect the group’s worldview and leadership.
That means a leader can present as gentle, humble, and “servant-hearted” while still upholding a system where doubt is discouraged or punished, and members are told how to think, act, and feel.
Dr. Steven Hassan’s BITE Model offers a similar pivot away from personality and toward authoritarian control. When there is authoritarian control, the impact can be coercive even when the leader seems kind.
What’s important to recognize here is that, for many religious cults, the most intense authority is often attributed to god—meaning, a religious leader can appear modest and deferential while still reinforcing total obedience as the “mouthpiece” of god.
They accomplish this by positioning god as the ultimate enforcer who rewards compliance and punishes non-compliance, while they are simply the messenger.
Let’s look more closely at how it looks when god is cast into this authoritarian role.
Projecting the cult leader role onto god
To be perfectly honest with you, I don’t think the pastors of the evangelical churches I attended were actually trying to grab up honor and glory for themselves.
I really do believe that, for the most part, they were totally absorbed in following their version of god and wanted to shepherd “the flock” in accordance with their beliefs about what god commanded.
Here’s the problem though—they fully supplicated themselves to an authoritarian version of god who spoke to people through his “word” (the Bible). And within these fundamentalist religious groups, the Bible is often taken as the literal “Word of God.”
God then became the “all-knowing,” “all-powerful,” and ever-present source of authority in people’s lives. He was the one you were to worship. And he was also the one you were to turn your cares over to and thank for every blessing.
He was the one who would love you beyond all measure.
And he was also the one who would cast you into the lake of fire, destined to burn forever, if you were not adequately repentant for your “sins” against him.
This version of god sounds an awful lot like a cult leader to me…
Experiencing god as the cult leader
When a system is organized this way, god effectively occupies the leadership role that keeps the system intact.
As you grow in your commitment to the authoritarian version of god, the control no longer comes just from pastors, parents, or church rules. It becomes internalized.
So even when no one else is watching, the sense of being constantly observed, evaluated, and judged can keep a person aligned with the system.
Many people who grew up in a high-control religion describe ongoing difficulty with truly stepping outside the authority of the group, even after leaving.
The voice of this internalized authoritarian god-figure continues to follow them in the form of an internal monitor, asking questions like, “Is this sinful?” “Am I disappointing god?” or “What if I’m wrong?”
While many people were isolated inside their insular religious communities, they were further isolated by having an internalized “spiritual monitor” (a.k.a. the Holy Spirit) embedded in their nervous systems.
And here’s what it really comes down to—when god has been cast in the role of the cult leader, questioning the system (or leaving it) can feel like a life or death decision.
If at any point the stakes felt that high to you, it’s reasonable to consider that an authoritarian version of god functioned as your cult leader.
Recovering from a supernatural cult leader
For those of us who left a religious climate that worshipped an authoritarian god-figure, we can recognize that this version of god functioned less like a source of care and more like an enforcer that kept the group unified and compliant.
While becoming aware of this dynamic can feel unsettling, it often opens the door for real recovery to begin.
Some people choose to redefine what spirituality means to them. Others step away from religion entirely. Some remain unsure for a long time.
All of these paths are valid and make sense given the complex nature of experiencing god as a cult leader.
If this sounds like you, recovery often begins with:
Whether or not you continue to believe in god, you deserve a life where your beliefs are not rooted in threat or terror.
You deserve the freedom to ask questions, to revise what you believe, and to build a relationship with yourself that is guided by curiosity rather than fear.
The system is the real threat
To bring this full circle to my original quandary about “kind pastors” and cult leaders, I’ve drawn the conclusion that while some pastors can certainly function as cult leaders, not all do.
Instead, in many high-control religions the deeper authority rests in the authoritarian version of god with whom members are taught to develop a close, connected, personal relationship.
The church or religious organization cultivates expectations through conditioning that teaches members what this supernatural authority will reward or punish based on their adherence to the system’s rules.
It may feel strange at first to think of god as a cult leader, especially when that figure exists through doctrine and teaching rather than physical presence.
However, think about the way god is consistently personified, humanized, and addressed as a relational authority—such as “father”—in these systems. That’s how this figure can come to operate as the central enforcer in the cult.
In that way, the doctrine-backed image of god does not merely symbolize authority in many of these groups—this personified image, with whom members have cultivated a personal relationship, now functions as the cult leader that keeps the structure intact.
So what began as my confusion about “kind pastors” ultimately led me to see how the system itself assigns the cult leader role to the version of god it then conditions people to obey.
I want to mention again that these are just my thoughts and how I’m processing my experiences, but I’d love to hear your thoughts!
You can comment below.
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